


Bring me some hope (by wandering into my mind)

by scalira



Series: Birthday Fics [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Blood Play, Camille abuses her bond with Simon, M/M, Post 1x13, Sire Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scalira/pseuds/scalira
Summary: Simon looks skinny and sickly when he walks back into the hotel, shoulders hunched and jaws clenched shut. He doesn’t even dare to look at any of them as he makes his way back to his old room. It’s the first time Raphael has seen him quiet.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queervampire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queervampire/gifts).



> Happy (slightly late) birthday, Deni (rafaelsantiagos on Tumblr)! You're finally an adult now, which means you're a danger to us all and I fear for my own safety. Anyway, I hope this was worth the wait!

It takes a while and a lot of persuading and even threatening from Magnus, but eventually Raphael agrees to take Simon back in.

Simon looks skinny and sickly when he walks back into the hotel, shoulders hunched and jaws clenched shut. He doesn’t even dare to look at any of them as he makes his way back to his old room. It’s the first time Raphael has seen him quiet.

The clan isn’t happy about Simon’s return. They don’t care that he’s right there and can hear everything they’re saying as they continue to complain to Raphael during dinner about the vampire laws on revenge and betrayal. Raphael hears them but doesn’t really listen – is too focused on Simon staring into his glass of blood without drinking any of it.

Simon shuffles back to his room without anyone caring enough to notice, his glass still full. Raphael frowns at his back as he goes, but doesn’t follow him like he might’ve done a few months ago.

“It isn’t right,” someone says, voice loud enough to draw Raphael’s attention. “He should be punished for his crimes. Camille is on the loose because of him.”

“He’s starving himself,” Raphael notes, voice flat. “I think he’s punishing himself enough without us interfering.”

“So you’re just going to let him off the hook?” Someone else asks. Raphael lets his eyes drift to the one speaking, hoping he looks bored with this conversation already.

“What I do with him is my concern. He might’ve betrayed all of us, but he was _my_ advisor. My punishment for him is for me to decide and nobody else.”

The vampire he’s speaking to nods and lets her gaze drop, murmuring something under her breath too quietly for Raphael to hear.

He sits through dinner with the rest of the clan, listening to conversations here and there. He’s happy that they all seem to be drifting away from the topic of Simon and are instead discussing going out and hunting. They try to involve him in some conversations, but Raphael’s lips remain sealed and his eyes remain glued to Simon’s full glass across the table.

Most of the others start excusing themselves from the table around 3, until it’s just Raphael sitting at the head. He sighs and pushes himself off, walking around the table to grab Simon’s glass.

The door to Simon’s room is closed when he gets there. Raphael wouldn’t be surprised if it were locked too, though he highly doubts a pathetic wooden door would stop an angry vampire looking for justice. He instructed the clan to not lay a finger on Simon when he came back, but he figures Simon doesn’t really trust that they’ll leave him alone that easily.

“Simon,” he says softly, knocking gently. “I brought you some blood.”

“That’s alright,” Simon says, voice muffled, “I’m not hungry.”

“What did I tell you about starving yourself? It won’t help. It’ll just make you miserable.”

“I’m not starving myself.”

Raphael smiles smugly to himself. “Prove it,” he dares.

There’s an audible sigh and then some shuffling before Simon jerks open the door. His hair is messy and his eyes red, but Raphael doesn’t know if it’s from crying or hunger. Or maybe both.

He hands the glass of blood to Simon without saying anything and then crosses his arms in anticipation. Simon glares at him.

“Are you just gonna wait there and watch me drink it?”

“You could invite me in,” Raphael shrugs. “Might be more comfortable if it takes you a while.”

Simon rolls his eyes and downs the blood in one go, making a face when he hands the empty glass back to Raphael.

“It’s cold,” he complains.

“It was warm when it was served to you at the dinner table,” Raphael counters.

“Yeah, well. Excuse me for losing my appetite when a dozen of angry vampires are talking about not wanting me there when I’m in the room with them.”

Raphael sighs and lets his arms drop to his side, moving to lean against the door frame.

“Just give it some time, Simon,” he says. “They’ll get used to you eventually. You hurt them and they’re angry and humiliated, but it’ll pass.”

“Are you?” Simon asks, looking at his feet. “Hurt?”

Raphael drops his gaze too. “I was. And angry. And humiliated. I hadn’t even been clan leader for two months when my own advisor betrayed us.”

“I’m sorry,” Simon whispers.

“I’m not gonna say it’s okay, because it isn’t. But it’s understandable.”

Simon’s head shoots up to look at him. Raphael meets his gaze.

“It is?” He asks.

“Yes. You did it to save someone you love. I’m not a monster, Simon. I understand what love is and what you would do for it. But you have to understand that we’re your family now. Nobody will ever understand you like we do. Immortal life is lonely, Simon. That’s why vampires have clans. That’s why we find ourselves partners. We do it to make it bearable. Don’t make it unbearable for yourself.”

“I won’t,” Simon says softly. “I promise.”

Raphael nods and reaches out to pat Simon’s arm. “Now,” he says, “get some rest. Training starts again first thing tomorrow morning.”

Simon groans. “Seriously? I thought me betraying you would relieve me of that torture.”

Raphael grins. “Well, let’s see it as your punishment.”

“I think I would rather be killed,” Simon mutters, and then his eyes turn huge as he gulps. “Wait, I didn’t mean that! Don’t kill me.”

Raphael just rolls his eyes at him and walks away.

“Be up as soon as the sun sets,” he instructs over his shoulder. Simon mumbles a reply before shutting his door.

*

Just as Raphael predicted, the others start getting used to Simon again in the following weeks. They don’t even discuss exiling him anymore after a month, and after two months they’re back to treating him like the baby vamp he is.

It all seems to be just like before, except that it isn’t.

Raphael appears to be the only one noticing something off about Simon. Maybe it’s because he’s the clan leader and he’s supposed to notice weird things about his clan members, or maybe it’s because he spends the most time with him, but either way, Simon isn’t like he was before. Sometimes his eyes seem to glaze over and he zones out until Raphael physically shakes him awake, and he sneaks out in the dead of night when he thinks nobody will miss him. Despite Raphael’s trust issues, he doesn’t have anyone follow him while he’s out. If he wants to get to the bottom of this, he can’t have Simon growing suspicious.

It even comes to the point where he calls the redhead Shadowhunter to ask if she has noticed anything weird about Simon lately. Clary is curt and all business on the phone with him, which Raphael appreciates. He doesn’t care for her and she doesn’t care for him, but they both care for Simon, so it’s best to keep a professional distance between the two of them.

Clary tells him that she hasn’t been seeing Simon a lot lately. She spends her waking moments looking for Jace or training, so she doesn’t have a lot of time to catch up with him. When Raphael asks if he’s been dropping by the Institute at night, she says she hasn’t seen him around in a few weeks.

So if he’s not at the Dumort during the night, and not at the Institute, then where does he go?

It’s not in Raphael’s nature to snoop around into people’s personal lives. What the other vampires do during their own time is none of his business as long as it doesn’t affect the clan, so he’s usually a fan of the term ‘live and let live’. But whatever Simon is doing might concern the clan too, and when it concerns them, it concerns Raphael.

So the next time Simon is trying to sneak out of the hotel, Raphael catches up with him right before he reaches the front door and puts on his best friendly smile.

“Hey,” he says, curling a hand around Simon’s wrist, “where are you going?”

Simon looks down at Raphael’s hand and then up into his eyes, eyebrows knitted together in a frown. His face relaxes a bit when his gaze meets Raphael’s.

“Out,” he simply states.

“Cool. Pandemonium?”

“Well, it’s the only Downworlder club I really know,” Simon shrugs.

“Okay, I’ll join you.”

Simon quirks an eyebrow. “You? Going clubbing?”

“Why are you pretending like that’s such a weird and foreign concept to you?”

“Because it is! I didn’t think you liked going out.”

Raphael pulls up a shoulder in a half-shrug. “I have my moments. Tonight is one of those moments, so – shall we?”

Simon considers it for a second, worrying his lip as he eyes Raphael up and down. Then he turns back to the front door and says: “Sure, why not. Let’s go.”

 

Simon wasn’t wrong when he thought Raphael isn’t the clubbing type. But just because he isn’t the type, doesn’t mean he hasn’t been to his fair share of packed clubs. He easily slips between the sweaty bodies to get to the bar and even flirts two free drinks out of the bartender, who almost spills blood because he’s too busy staring at Raphael’s blinding smile.

“My, my,” Simon whistles when they get their free drinks and the bartender’s number, “you just keep surprising me. I didn’t even know you even knew _how_ to flirt.”

Raphael rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his drink. “Oh, please. You really think you don’t learn some stuff when you’re alive for decades?”

“I don’t know. I just figured you spent all your free time brooding in a dark room reading Edgar Allan Poe.”

Raphael huffs. “Why is everyone always saying I brood?”

“Because you do,” Simon grins.

“I do not,” Raphael counters. As if to prove it, he turns around on his bar stool and jumps off it, moving past people waiting to order a drink and to the dance floor. Simon follows not long after.

“Is this the part where you start dancing like a pro just to prove how wrong I was to think you brood?” Simon wonders. Raphael shrugs and places his hand on the small of Simon’s back to pull him closer.

“Maybe,” he grins when he notices Simon’s blush.

They dance like that together for a while, moving their hips together and laughing, but then a girl approaches them and calls Simon’s name.

“Hey, you!” She says cheerfully, “how’s it going?”

“Uh,” Simon says, looking from Raphael to the girl, “fine. Kind of busy at the moment, though.”

The girl looks at Raphael too and smiles.

“Is he your catch of the evening?” She asks Simon.

“Catch of the evening?” Raphael echoes.

“Oh yeah,” the girl smirks, nudging Simon with her elbow, “this legend over here has a new victim on his arm every other night. Male or female, nobody is safe from his smoldering look and easy smile. I should start charging him for stealing away my customers, but I can never stay mad at those puppy eyes.”

Raphael narrows his eyes at Simon. “Simon, mind explaining this to me?”

“Oh,” the girl says. And then, when she sees Raphael’s expression: “Oh my god. Simon, he isn’t like, your boyfriend, right? Please tell me I didn’t just tell your boyfriend you’re going through partners faster than Adele goes through number one hits.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Simon quickly says. He sounds panicked.

“Jessica, look.” Simon raises his hand to eye level and lowers his voice. “You don’t know me.”

The girl – Jessica – freezes. Her pupils turn wide as she follows the movement of Simon’s hand. “I don’t know you,” she says flatly.

“You are walking away.”

“I am walking away.”

She promptly turns around on her heels and marches away, bumping into a girl as she goes. Simon turns to Raphael and opens his mouth to explain, but Raphael beats him to it.

“Since when do you know how to use Encanto?” He questions.

Simon grins sheepishly and raises his hand again.

“You will forget you ever saw this,” he says weakly. Raphael slaps his hand away.

“Don’t try to use it on me, you idiot!” He snaps. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew how to do that? And why are you out here using it on people? Do you use it on your ‘catches of the evening’?”

“Raphael, chill. I’m just having some fun.”

“Encanto isn’t a game, Simon. It’s a serious power, one you shouldn’t abuse.”

“I’m not abusing it! I’m not hurting anyone with it.”

Raphael takes a step back. “Whatever,” he says. “I’m leaving.”

“Raph, don’t be mad. Please.”

“You can’t use Encanto on innocent people!” Raphael says, turning around again to face Simon. “In fact, I don’t want you using it at all. Encanto takes away people’s free will, Simon. It’s like drugging someone! It’s not right. I expected better from you.”

Simon drops his gaze in shame. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Raphael nods curtly and turns on his heels to walk away. He doesn’t feel like partying anymore.

Simon follows him outside and is quiet the entire walk back to the hotel. Raphael hopes he realizes Encanto is wrong and he won’t be sneaking out of the hotel to practice it on innocent bystanders anytime soon, but Simon doesn’t stick around long enough for him to make sure he got the message. He immediately disappears into his room, slamming the door as he goes.

Raphael stands alone in the hallway for a moment and then exhales deeply.

Something is going on with Simon, something other than the Encanto.

And Raphael is gonna find out exactly what that is.

*

The hotel is very rarely completely quiet during the day. Though everyone is supposed to be sleeping, Raphael is often woken up by muffled screams and gasps. Nightmares about being Turned can haunt you for decades, and only very few vampires in the hotel have managed to escape them through the years.

Today isn’t any different. He usually just lies in bed trying to fall back asleep after someone woke him up, but the screams are coming from the room next to his this time. He used to comfort Simon a lot when he was just with the clan, so it’s almost out of habit when Raphael throws back his sheets and gets out of bed.

Simon is sitting up straight in bed when Raphael enters his room. There’s a dangerous beam of sunlight coming through his thick curtains, but it doesn’t reach his bed or the door.

“You okay?” Raphael asks softly.

Simon slowly looks up to him. Even in the dark room, Raphael can see his eyes are empty and expressionless.

“I’m fine,” he says flatly.

“Are you sure? You can talk to me about it.”

Simon tilts his head and observes Raphael standing in the doorway. The gesture reminds Raphael of someone else, of someone way more dangerous. He tries to shake off the sudden unease settling over him.

“It was nothing,” Simon says eventually, “just another nightmare. Go back to sleep.”

Raphael doesn’t move. Simon sighs and gets out of bed, walking dangerously close to the sunlight streaming into the room.

“Simon,” Raphael says warningly.

“You ever got nightmares, Raphael?” Simon asks, ignoring the urgency in his voice completely. His eyes are glued to the spot of sunlight on the floor.

“Of course. We all have them.”

“You know how to stop them?”

Raphael shrugs. “You just endure them.”

“Well,” Simon draws out, “I found a way to stop them. You just focus on something else.” And with that, he swiftly moves his hand through the beam of sunlight.

“Simon!” Raphael shrieks, taking a step forward. The smell of burned skin is already filling the room. “Why did you just do that?”

Simon looks up from the sunlight and smiles. “Did you ever move your finger through fire when you were little? Like, through the flame of a candle?”

Raphael doesn’t reply. He’s too focused on the unhealthy looking pink skin on Simon’s palm.

“Children don’t hesitate. That’s why they don’t fall over if they’re not holding onto something on the bus and that’s why they don’t hurt themselves playing with fire. They’re not afraid of falling, and they’re not afraid of burning themselves,” Simon continues lightly, moving his hand through the sunlight again.

“Simon, stop,” Raphael demands. “You’re hurting yourself.”

“You see,” Simon muses, “the trick is not minding that it hurts.” He moves his hand through the sunlight again, his palm now almost black.

Raphael speeds through the room and snatches his hand out of the sunlight, burning himself while doing so.

“Why are you doing this?” He hisses, showing Simon his own burned skin.

Simon looks from his hand to Raphael and back, mouth hanging open slightly. There seems to be going on something behind his eyes, and then he shakes his head and appears to be realizing what he’s doing.

“I – I don’t know,” Simon stutters. He pulls back his hand and walks back to bed, his movements almost robotic.

“Is everything really okay, Simon? You seem to be off lately.”

“Yeah,” Simon nods as he crawls back into bed. “Yeah, I’m just – tired. I guess. I’m sorry. I’ll get better.”

“If there’s something you want to talk about, you can come to me. You know that, right?”

Simon smiles up at him. He suddenly looks tired and drained, and Raphael’s heart aches for him.

“I know,” Simon says, “thank you. I think I’ll try to get some rest now.”

“Good idea,” Raphael nods. “I’m next door if you need me.”

“Thanks, Raph.”

Raphael smiles. He’s still worried about Simon, but he walks back to the door nevertheless.

“You’re welcome,” he says before leaving.

*

The hotel has welcomed a few new fledglings during Simon’s absence. The Turnings went against Raphael’s will, but the clan is gearing up for war against Valentine _and_ Camille, so they need to be strong in numbers. That also means that Raphael is now responsible for not one, but five fledglings. And they all need training.

The older vampires take turns training the fledglings, but Raphael is Simon’s personal trainer. They often train together, separately from the other fledglings. Raphael tells Simon it’s a way to rebuild the trust between them (“nothing better to regain my trust than some good ol’ sparring”), but it’s mostly because he wants to keep an eye on him. Maybe he moved back into the hotel too quickly. Maybe he wasn’t ready to be exposed to so much hostility right away, and that’s why he’s being so weird lately. Either way, Raphael has his eye on him at all times.

But Simon is starting to recognize Raphael’s training patterns. His fighting skills are becoming predictable to him, and Simon manages to block most of Raphael’s attacks two weeks into their training.

“I think it’s time for you to get a new training partner,” Raphael decides. He would normally assign training to another vampire, but Stan told him it might be good for Simon to train with the other fledglings. That way, he can match his own fledgling strength to others.

“Alright,” Raphael says one night. “Simon is joining us tonight, which means we’re uneven now. So I’ll be joining you in sparring today. Vince, you team up with Robyn. Noah, with me. And Simon; you and Tris will fight each other. We’re training your fighting skills today. One on one, like in a real fight. Everything is allowed, except staking and decapitating. I would like everyone to still be in one piece by the end of it. You may begin.”

Noise immediately erupts in the training room. Robyn and Vince are both prone to try to verbally intimidate their component, so their curse words and insults are quickly the most prominent sound. Tris growls as she flings herself towards Simon, who pushes himself off the floor and does a handstand over her shoulders to get back onto his feet behind her.

It’s hard keeping an eye on everyone while fighting Noah, but Raphael is an experienced vampire while Noah is mostly just an impatient fledgling. His attacks are predictable and sloppy, so Raphael easily works him to the ground and wraps a hand around his throat.

“You’re dead,” he states.

“Already am,” Noah says cheerfully. Raphael chuckles and helps him up.

“Go sit over there while the others fight it out,” he instructs.

“Okay, but I’ll get you next time.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Noah winks at him and walks to the other end of the room. Raphael focuses his attention back on the others, occasionally correcting them but mostly just letting them figure it out for themselves.

He isn’t paying attention to Simon for two seconds. That’s all it takes.

He’s sparring with Tris one moment, and then the next he’s pinning her to the ground and snarling in her face while she tries to squirm away.

“Get off me, you freak!” She shrieks, trying to push him off. Simon snaps his jaws at her, fangs dropped and dangerously close to her throat.

“Simon, that’s enough!” Raphael says sternly, but he doesn’t seem to hear him. Simon lifts his hand to pin Tris’ head to the floor and moves his fangs even closer.

“Simon!” Raphael demands. He rushes over to him and pulls him off the other fledgling, all but throwing him across the room.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Raphael snarls once Simon is back on his feet.

“I – ” Simon starts.

“You know what, don’t even answer that. Just – just go. I don’t want to see you anywhere near the other fledglings again.”

“Raphael – ”

“That’s enough, Simon! I don’t know what the hell is going on in your life right now, but don’t bother coming back to training before you have figured it out.”

Simon opens his mouth to reply, but closes it in defeat when he sees Raphael’s determined look. His shoulders lump as he walks out of the room, past the other fledglings gathered around Tris to support her.

“Fucking freak,” she spits when he passes her. Raphael flinches from the venom in her voice, but doesn’t say anything about it.

Simon doesn’t train with the others after that anymore.

*

Raphael doesn’t know when exactly finding Jace Wayland became a clan matter, but suddenly he finds himself in the midst of a Shadowhunter meeting discussing his whereabouts.

Simon is there with him, mostly because Raphael didn’t feel safe enough in the Institute to go alone, even with Magnus there with him. Simon is on friendlier terms with the Nephilim, and that makes Raphael feel a bit more at ease.

“We don’t know much about Jace’ position,” the tall Shadowhunter – Alec – says. His voice is all business and no emotion, but Raphael can hear his rapid heartbeat and smell the sweat on his skin. He’s scared and desperate, just like the rest of them. “Magnus can’t track him, which means he must be somewhere surrounded by water.”

“Which could be anywhere,” Isabelle continues. She has dark bags under her eyes that she desperately tried covering up with make-up.

Simon shakes his head and huffs. “You can say a lot about Valentine, but he sure is smart.”

“Sly is what I would call it,” Magnus comments. He’s barefaced and glitterless today, which means he’s dead serious about the matter. “He knows how to dodge Warlock tracking. I also spoke to Meliorn, who couldn’t track Jace either. We’re totally blind.”

“Why does Valentine want Jace anyway?” Raphael asks.

“Jace is his son. Maybe he just wants him by his side to watch how he rebuilds the world,” Simon says.

“I think you mean destroy,” Clary mutters. She’s staring intently at the map laid out in front of them, eyes wet with tears.

“Well, I mean. Valentine has proven to be a great leader. I don’t think he would _destroy_ the world. He knows what he’s doing.”

“Are you defending him?” Raphael says.

“I’m just pointing out facts,” Simon counters. “From what I’ve heard, he was a great leader to his people. He cared about his own and wanted to do whatever it took to protect them.”

“He _hunted_ and _murdered_ dozens of _our_ own,” Magnus says. “How can you stand there and say that about him?”

Simon shrugs. “I’m not wrong.”

“You are,” Raphael growls, “I lost almost my entire clan during his war. I barely got out alive myself, and you’re standing here trying to tell me he was a great leader? You sound just like Camille.”

That seems to snap Simon out of it. He gapes at Raphael, swallows thickly and then promptly turns around on his heels.

“I have to go,” he apologizes quickly, almost bumping into someone on his way out.

“What the hell was that about?” Magnus asks. His eyes are dark and dangerous.

“I wish I knew,” Raphael mutters.

*

Raphael is working on some letters in his room when Simon knocks on his door a few days later.

“Hey, Raphael,” he says when he peeks his head around the door. “I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me.”

“A walk?” Raphael echoes. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Why do people go on walks? To talk and to enjoy the fresh night air and all that. Please? I really need to get out of here.”

Raphael sighs and pushes himself out of his chair.

“Fine,” he breathes. “But we’re going by Taki’s to get some blood milkshakes first.”

 

Simon seems to be more himself as they walk the streets of Brooklyn. He even cracks some jokes that make Raphael crack up and pays for the blood milkshakes. Raphael would almost forget how strange he’s been lately.

Simon tells him a story about milkshakes that distracts Raphael from where they’re going. Simon easily leads them through dimly lit streets and around corners Raphael has never been before, and before he knows it they’re at the harbor.

“Wait, why are we here?” He interrupts Simon halfway through his story of how Clary almost choked on a strawberry once.

“Oh,” Simon says, looking around as if he just realized where they are. “I’m not sure. I always used to come here when stuff became too much. I guess my feet decided I needed some relaxing.”

Raphael makes a face. “Why though? It just stinks of fish and urine here.”

Simon shrugs but doesn’t explain further. He just leads him deeper into the harbor, where the warehouses are empty and abandoned. Raphael is growing suspicious, but Simon just keeps talking about that one summer in second grade where he got such a bad sun burn children ran away from him screaming.

Simon puts his hand on the small of Raphael’s back and guides him into one of the warehouses. Raphael tries to step away, but before he can turn around, the door slides shut behind him.

“What the fuck?” He hisses. Simon’s form disappears from next to him and gets across the room in the time it takes Raphael’s eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness. A second silhouette joins him. It takes Raphael a moment to recognize the figure, and when he does, his stomach drops.

“Camille,” he spits venomously.

“My little sugar cube,” Camille greets with a smile. Simon is standing quietly next to her, eyes fixed on Raphael.

“What’s going on, Simon?” Raphael wants to know.

“Isn’t that obvious?” Camille laughs. “My little caramel led you straight to me.”

If Raphael’s heart were still beating, it would stop now.

“Simon, is that true?”

Simon nods. “She asked me to. So I obeyed.”

“Why?” He asks, though he thinks he already knows the answer to that.

“Because,” Camille muses, slowly approaching him, “I want my throne back. And in order to do that, I must first kill the king.”

She snaps her fingers at Simon, who moves faster than Raphael has ever seen him. He can’t even react before Simon grabs his arms and twists them behind his back.

“Any last words?” Camille asks. She’s standing in front of him now, a long finger tracing his jaw.

“Choke,” Raphael spits, trying to free himself. Simon’s grip is strong and firm, as if he’s been doing this for decades. Raphael didn’t even know he was this strong.

“Those are some pathetic last words, but I guess they’ll do,” Camille shrugs. She places both hands on either side of Raphael’s face and easily dodges his sharp fangs as he tries to bite her. The only thing she has to do now is twist his head off his shoulders to kill him.

But before she can even try, a purple Portal appears in the middle of the warehouse. Raphael has honestly never been more relieved to see Magnus Bane than he is right this second.

Camille curses under her breath and lets go off Raphael’s face, quickly speeding away before the glow of the Portal is completely gone. She speeds upstairs and disappears deeper into the warehouse, but Magnus has no eye for her as he grabs Raphael’s hand.

“Watch out!” He shrieks, pulling Raphael away from Simon right before he sinks his fangs into Raphael’s neck. Simon snarls at them, eyes dark and claws out, and leaps forward to attack again.

“Simon, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Raphael growls, grabbing his wrist before he can slash his throat. But Simon doesn’t reply, doesn’t even seem to hear him. He just claps his jaws at him and hisses.

“I think Camille is controlling him,” Magnus says. He snaps his fingers at Simon, who immediately gets restrained by blue swirls of magic. He tries to bite Magnus when he gets closer, but Magnus seems unimpressed by his hostility. “Look at his eyes,” he points. “Completely dilated pupils. He looks like he’s under influence. Camille is using her Sire Bond on him.”

Raphael shakes his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner.”

“It wasn’t until he started defending Valentine’s actions that I started to get suspicious,” Magnus explains. “Only Camille has ever openly called him a good leader. She blew her cover by having Simon repeat her words.”

“So all those months… everything that happened… it was because she was controlling him?” Raphael questions. Suddenly a lot of Simon’s weird behavior is making sense to him. Fledglings being controlled by their Sire tend to be hostile towards others and portray destructive behavior. A Sire bond can often be compared to being addicted to drugs.

“I think so,” Magnus says. He looks at Simon with something close to pity in his eyes.

“So how do we stop it?”

“We should go back to my loft, for starters. In case Camille has some other guinea pigs waiting for us here.”

Raphael nods. Simon growls at him and tries to get to him again, but Magnus’ magic is too strong to break. Magnus manages to make a Portal for them to step through while still restraining Simon and pushes him through it before following. Raphael is the last one through.

 

Simon gets restrained in a chair as soon as they enter Magnus’ loft. He’s still snarling and growling, trying to get to them with his long claws to the point where Raphael can hear his bones snap with effort. He looks lethal and possessed.

“I’ve never seen this before,” Raphael says quietly. He feels like crying whenever he looks at Simon’s dark eyes and red lips, pierced by his own fangs. The boy he used to know seems to be completely gone.

“My guess is that Camille put him on killing mode in the hope that he would finish her dirty work,” Magnus explains.

“So how do we stop it?”

Magnus looks from Simon to Raphael and back and lets out a deep sigh.

“There’s only one way I know to break a Sire bond,” he draws out. He looks at Raphael with something close to regret in his eyes, and Raphael’s heart drops to his stomach.

“No,” he says firmly.

“Raphael,  –  ”

“No! There _must_ be another way, Magnus.”

“There isn’t. The only way to break a Sire bond is to replace the Sire. You know this, Raphael.”

“But I promised myself that I would _never_ – ”

“I know,” Magnus says compassionately, placing a soft hand on Raphael’s shoulder. “I know, Raphael. But either you replace Camille as Simon’s Sire, or you let him kill you. Those are your only two options right now. My magic won’t be able to restrain him forever.”

“It takes away your free will, Magnus. I can’t – I can’t do that to him. He’s been controlled enough. It has to end.”

“Would you rather have him be like this?”

Raphael looks back to Simon. He’s still struggling against his restraints, still breaking his bones one by one trying to break free. His eyes are set on Raphael, but he doesn’t even seem to see him. There’s no recognition in his gaze when their eyes meet.

“Fine,” Raphael breathes, defeated. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Magnus nods solemnly. “We will need to do it fast,” he says. “But I can’t restrain him while I set everything up for the ceremony. We need to get him to calm down.”

“Leave that to me,” Raphael mutters. He walks towards where Simon is sitting, who snarls at him when he steps closer.

“I’m sorry,” Raphael says, and then he knocks him out with a calculated punch to the nose.

 

Simon comes to when he’s strapped to a table. Raphael is past the point of questioning where Magnus even got a table like this and is just happy the restrains are strong enough to hold a very angry vampire trying to kill him.

The ceremony goes by in a blur. There are two ancient knives Magnus cuts them with and a cup he collects their blood in, and then they both have to drink from it while Magnus chants something in a language Raphael doesn’t know. He’s almost certain half of the whole thing is just because Magnus has a flair for the dramatic, but he decides to just undergo it without asking too many questions.

Simon screams when the blood is forced down his throat. He twists and squirms and cries, breaking more bones and hissing as Camille’s stamp is burned out of him and replaced by Raphael’s. His pupils slowly return to their normal size and his claws and fangs retract, and then all of the sudden there’s a whimpering boy on the table instead of a possessed vampire hungry for blood.

His eyes desperately scan the room and finally land on Raphael, who can already feel a fluttering presence at the edge of his mind that must be Simon’s.

“Raphael?” Simon croaks. “What – what happened?”

And Raphael explains. His voice is gentle and careful as he tells Simon Camille has been playing him, and he comforts him when Simon cries. Raphael can’t even begin to comprehend what it must feel like to find out the past couple of months had all been a lie, that his mind had been controlled by the one woman he despises the most in the world. So the only thing he can do is be there for Simon. Tell him that it isn’t his fault, that _none_ of it is his fault.

“I tried to _kill you_ ,” Simon sobs. Magnus has loosened the restraints around his wrist, and he’s sitting upright on the table now. Raphael is sitting on it too, one hand placed on Simon’s knee and one on top of Simon’s own hand.

“No, _Camille_ tried to kill me. You were just her vessel. Really, Simon. I don’t blame you for any of it. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” Simon cries out. “She’s been using me for _months_ and I didn’t even _realize_. I thought I was going insane. Again! Sometimes I would do things I didn’t want to do, and say things I didn’t want to say. I don’t think Valentine is a good leader! And I didn’t want to attack Tris or burn myself. She just did that to me to _play me!_ To show me that she’s in control. To show me that I will _never_ get rid of her.”

“You did get rid of her. She’s out of your head, Simon. She can’t hurt you anymore. And I promise you on my own grave that I will _never_ abuse our Sire bond. You won’t even notice we have one.”

Simon offers him a watery smile and squeezes his hand. “I know,” he assures him. “It doesn’t bother me that we’re bonded now.” Then his face turns hard. “It bothers me that Camille is still roaming free, though.”

“We can do something about that,” Magnus interferes. He’d been quietly observing the two vampires, but now he speaks up. “Camille might’ve felt her bond with Simon break, but she doesn’t know Raphael is his Sire now. As far as she knows, Raphael killed Simon.”

“You think so?” Raphael questions.

Magnus shrugs. “Camille always tended to underestimate my powers. She has no clue that I know how to perform Sire rituals, so she can’t possibly know that you two are bonded now. We could use that in our advantage.”

“And how exactly would we do that?” Simon asks.

Magnus’ eyes glint dangerously. His cat eyes break through his glamour for a heartbeat. “I have a plan,” he smiles.

*

It’s a simple, very Trojan horse-like plan, but it might just work.

The clan is briefed about what is about to happen, and the Shadowhunters are informed too just in case things go south. After all, they kind of owe Raphael for not calling war upon them after they broke the Accords.

“Are you scared?” Simon asks. He has one hand placed on the back of Raphael’s neck, fingers digging into his skin as he guides them through the quiet night.

“No. Are you?”

Simon huffs but doesn’t reply. Raphael reaches up to touch Simon’s hand in his neck.

“You can do this,” he assures him. “I trust you.”

Simon abruptly stops walking and gapes at Raphael.

“What?” Raphael wonders.

“That’s the first time you said you trust me in months,” Simon says quietly. He seems on the verge of tears.

“I mean it,” Raphael says sincerely. “I do. And this is going to work, Simon. I promise.”

Simon nods. “Yeah, okay. I won’t disappoint you.”

Raphael smiles. “You never do.”

Simon offers him an intimate smile, so soft and vulnerable Raphael feels like he’s choking. He wants nothing more than to kiss Simon right then and there, but they have a mission to follow. Now is not the time for feelings.

Simon walks them back to the harbor, to the same abandoned warehouse they were in last time. Raphael comments on how predictable Camille has become, but Simon urges him to shut up.

They wander into the warehouse, deep enough for the moonlight to be completely filtered out. But vampires don’t need light, and Raphael can see exactly what’s happening.

“Camille!” Simon calls out when they round a corner. Camille is sitting on something resembling a throne (maybe tending to be dramatic comes with the centuries) surrounded by her servants. Simon had told him he wasn’t just having fun using his Encanto in clubs, but was actually recruiting new fledglings for Camille to Turn. The vampires here must be the people Simon rounded up.

“My little caramel,” Camille purrs, trying to hide her surprise. “I thought you were dead!”

Simon pulls up his lips in a venomous smile. “No, just injured. But I did capture him.” He shoves Raphael towards her. “Thought you might want to end it yourself.”

Camille smiles sweetly at him. “I do,” she says calmly, walking towards Raphael like a hunter to its prey.

“Well, well. We meet again.”

“Unfortunately,” Raphael spits.

“No need to be so hostile,” Camille tuts. “We’re old friends, after all.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it friends.”

“That truly hurts, Raphael. After everything I did for you. After taking you into my clan. After feeding you, giving you a home. Making you my second in command. And what do I get in return? Betrayal. Mutiny.” Then she laughs. “But I guess you got what was coming for you, didn’t you? Your own advisor betrayed you.”

“He did what he thought was right, and I forgave him. Because he deserved it. Unlike you.”

“I don’t need forgiveness!” Camille laughs. She snaps her fingers, and her servants crowd Raphael before he can even try to escape. “I need revenge.”

Everything happens at once after that. Four fledglings grab Raphael’s arms and force him onto his knees, Camille’s cold hands wrap around his throat, Simon calls out, and then there’s the sound of dozens of vampires shrieking and hissing, getting into the warehouse from all possible entrances.

Camille snaps her head up, pulling her lip up in a snarl.

“What’s happening?” She demands. Raphael smiles up at her.

“Oh,” he shrugs, “that’s my clan. Coming for you.”

The sound of vampire bodies colliding is ear deafening. There’s screaming and snarling and growling as Raphael’s clan collides with Camille’s, and in the chaos, Camille finds a way out.

Raphael is surrounded by vampires. They push and pull, tearing and hurting and killing. Ruthless and lethal, all of them. But Raphael only has eyes for Camille. She won’t get away this time; not again.

He follows her upstairs and around corners, into different rooms. She’s fast, but Raphael is determined.

He loses her for a moment in the maze that is this warehouse, but then Simon calls out to him. Raphael follows the sound into a small room, where he has Camille pinned against a wall. He’s holding her up by her throat, and she’s desperately trying to get away.

“On her knees,” Raphael says. Simon nods and forces her on her knees, identical to how she had Raphael just minutes before. Camille tries to squirm away, but she out of all people should know how strong Simon can be if he really wants to.

“You should end it,” Raphael tells Simon. “She used you for months.”

Simon shakes his head. “She used you for decades. No matter how much I want to rip her head off her shoulders, I think you should be the one to kill her.”

Raphael shrugs and then smiles at Camille. “Fair enough,” he says. “Hold her down.”

Simon grabs a hold of her shoulders, so hard it draws blood. Camille hisses at Raphael, but he can tell she’s scared by her flaring nostrils.

“Any last words?” He mocks.

Camille curses at him. “See you in Hell,” she spits in a last attempt to hit Raphael where it hurts. But what she doesn’t understand is that Raphael has been in Hell ever since Camille took him into her clan, and her being dead would feel like ascending into heaven to him.

He takes great pleasure into killing her. He doesn’t draw it out like he could’ve; instead just pops her head off her shoulders in one swift move. Her head falls next to her body, eyes rolled back.

Simon lets go off her lump form and her body falls sideways. He walks towards some wood lying around and returns with a sharp piece, staking her through the heart with it.

“Just to be sure,” Simon says through his teeth as he watches her turn into dust.

Silence settles over the warehouse once Camille is dead. The shrieks and screams coming from downstairs come to an abrupt stop, and when they get back downstairs they see Camille’s fledglings have all turned to dust.

“That could’ve been me,” Simon whispers. Raphael looks at him and takes his hand to squeeze.

“But it isn’t,” he points out.

“Yeah,” Simon says. “It isn’t.”

Raphael smiles encouragingly at him and then turns to the clan, who’s waiting for their leader to speak.

“Camille is dead,” he announces. He doesn’t wait long enough for cheers to erupt and continues: “So are her fledglings. Let this be a lesson to all of us; we may be immortal, but we are not invincible. And just because we have seen empires rise and fall, does not mean we cannot fall ourselves. Camille was a fallen vampire. She was corrupt and evil and hungry for power. We will not miss her. But will also not forget her.”

Cheers of agreement rise in the crowd. Raphael’s smile turns into a victorious grin when the clan starts chanting his name.

 “The witch is dead!” Someone says. “Long live the king!”

Raphael laughs at that. Simon is standing by his side and grins at him, pride and relief radiating off him.

“Now,” he draws out, flashing his teeth in a smile, “let’s go home.”

*

Simon is welcomed back a hero. He’s no longer in disgrace, is no longer the ‘fledgling that went insane’. Raphael told everyone how he helped him take down Camille, and the clan is grateful.

They throw a big party in celebration. Raphael invites Magnus, who invites his Shadowhunter boyfriend, who invites the other Nephilim. Raphael doesn’t even care that they’re at the party too. He’s too happy to care about anything tonight.

Simon, drunk on spiked blood, makes him a paper crown and officially crowns him as king of the New York clan. All the vampires present cheer loudly when Raphael climbs his throne (which is just a golden arm chair taken out of the lounge). It’s ridiculous and childish and Raphael loves every single second of it.

The party lasts till way past sunrise, but eventually most vampires find their way back to their rooms. Raphael has to support Simon on his way back to his room, who loudly hums the Star Wars theme song as they stumble through the hallways.

“I think,” Simon hiccups as Raphael pushes open his bedroom door, “that I’m slightly drunk.”

“You think?” Raphael chuckles. Simon hums and stumbles to his bed, where he collapses onto the mattress.

Raphael helps him take off his shoes and even tucks him in, something he has honestly never done in his entire undead life. Simon grabs his wrist when Raphael wants to leave and pulls him closer.

“You should stay,” he mutters sleepily.

“Simon, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not asking you to have sex with me, Raphael,” Simon says. He’s apparently still sober enough to roll his eyes. “I’m just asking you to _stay_. Like, I don’t know. Just – cuddle. I missed you. I mean, I missed being myself around you.”

Raphael looks down at Simon, at his messy hair and tired but content eyes, and feels his expression soften.

“Fine,” he finally sighs, kicking off his shoes. “Scoot over.”

Simon grins up at him and rolls to the other side of the bed, throwing back his sheets for Raphael to crawl in.

“So,” he says once Raphael has settled into the bed, “big spoon or little spoon?”

Raphael glares at Simon. “I don’t like spooning,” he deadpans.

Simon smiles. “Liar.”

Raphael rolls his eyes at him and moves closer until they’re facing each other, both lying on their sides. He reaches out to take Simon’s hand and puts their intertwined fingers between them on the pillow.

“I missed you too, you know,” he whispers. “It’s good having you back. The real you.”

“I know,” Simon smiles, squeezing Raphael’s hand.

“This is nice,” Raphael decides with a sigh. “I haven’t shared a bed with someone in ages.”

“Well, you can always crawl in with me. I don’t like sleeping alone.”

“Nightmares?”

Simon shrugs. “I’m getting used to them.”

“They’ll get better. I swear.”

“I know.” Simon exhales and closes his eyes. “They’re not as bad when I’m with you.”

Raphael swears he can feel his heart flutter in his chest, and he bites his lip in order not to grin like an idiot.

“Goodnight, Simon,” he says before he can say something stupid.

“Goodnight,” Simon replies.

*

The atmosphere in the hotel changes completely after Camille is taken care of. Now that the lingering threat of her coming back to reclaim her position has been eliminated, a sense of peace has settled over the clan.

It also gives Raphael the freedom to rebuild his relationship with Simon. Now that everyone is more relaxed, he no longer has to put all his energy and time in clan matters and trying to keep everyone calm and collected. He can actually go on walks through the city with him and go to midnight showings of old movies and get milkshakes. He would almost dare to call them dates.

And in many ways, they could easily be dating. They do everything a couple does, except kiss.

Simon is the one to change that.

It isn’t a spectacular first kiss on a special location or anything. Neither of them have a big speech before it and it isn’t a big gesture or extremely romantic. They’re just sitting on Raphael’s bed, cross legged and facing each other as they play cards, when Simon leans forward and presses his lips to Raphael’s in a swift kiss.

“Uh,” Simon stutters when he pulls back, “I don’t – I don’t really know why I did that.”

“I do,” Raphael says, and then he moves forward to kiss him again.

Kissing Simon is soft. It’s warm and comforting and _right_ , coming as natural to Raphael as breathing used to do. It’s like the crook of Simon’s neck was molded especially for his hand to fit in, and as if their lips were made out of the same marble. They fit together perfectly.

Simon is out of breath when they pull back from the kiss, but he’s smiling.

“I didn’t know you could be that gentle,” he whispers around his smile.

“Really?” Raphael laughs. “I can be even more gentle.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Raphael shakes his head and chuckles. He places his hand in Simon’s neck to pull him closer and kisses him again, so softly it’s almost not a kiss at all. Simon parts his lips for him and allows Raphael to deepen the kiss, who loses a bit of his softness when he gains access to Simon’s mouth.

Simon groans when Raphael’s fangs accidentally scrape his lip and pulls back with a frown.

“That’s not really gentle, is it?” He teases breathlessly as he wipes his lip.

“Sorry,” Raphael apologizes. His gaze is fixed on the blood welling up from Simon’s lip, though, and he can’t seem to concentrate on anything else anymore.

“Hey, are you okay?” Simon asks.

Raphael’s eyes snap back to Simon’s.

“I’m fine,” he says. “It’s just – Simon, I know you don’t have the best experiences when it comes to blood sharing. But, I – well… If you want to, I can show you a different way of sharing blood. A nicer way.”

“A nicer way?” Simon echoes.

Raphael nods. “With more… pleasure. But only if you want to.”

Simon scans his face. “I want to,” he says eventually.

Raphael nods again and captures Simon’s lips with his own once more. He tastes his blood on them and deepens the kiss almost embarrassingly fast, sucking on Simon’s bottom lip to taste more of it.

Simon moans, his hands grabbing into Raphael’s hair to push his mouth firmer against his. Raphael gently pushes Simon down onto the mattress and moves from his lips to his throat, enduring Simon’s displeased whimper until he bites down into his neck.

“Fuck,” Simon curses. “This is – _fuck_.”

“It could be better,” Raphael breathes.

“How?”

“Let me show you.”

Raphael lets his fangs drop and grazes them over Simon’s sensitive skin, who gasps and digs his nails into Raphael’s shoulders. Raphael snickers into the crook of Simon’s neck.

“Stop teasing,” Simon complains.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Raphael laughs. He kisses Simon’s collarbone before moving upward again to pierce his skin with his fangs.

Simon’s blood is warm and rich when it hits Raphael’s tongue. He immediately gets lightheaded, like he’s getting drunk on it, and presses his body against Simon’s to feel him everywhere at once. Simon’s moans and curses almost get lost to Raphael; he’s too focused on the blood to notice much else. But he does notice Simon pressed up against him, how his hands move under his shirt to rake his nails over his back.

He pulls back when he feels satisfied and exposes his own neck to Simon, who flips them over with ease and sinks his fangs into Raphael’s neck without hesitating. Raphael grunts, his hands grabbing fistfuls of Simon’s shirt.

“Sh-hit, Simon,” he breathes, voice shaking.

Simon drinks until he feels full and then pulls back, sitting back on his knees. They’re both breathing heavily, despite not even needing air.

“I – that – that was an experience,” Simon stutters.

Raphael sits up too, kissing Simon again before replying: “Something you’d like to do again in the near future?”

“I think that’s pretty obvious,” Simon says, gesturing to his body and the obvious signs of his arousal.

Raphael cocks a bow at him. “Well, I’d like to take this further, but I also like playing hard to get. So…”

“You’re the actual worst, you know that?”

Raphael shrugs. “I wear the title with pride.”

Simon rolls his eyes at him. “Okay, so how about, instead of taking it further, we just kiss some more? That was a very nice experience too.”

“A great plan,” Raphael agrees.

Their lips meet halfway, and Simon pushes Raphael back down to deepen the kiss. Raphael’s hands settle on Simon’s back, fingers spread and palms warm against his skin.

“How are you so warm?” Simon wonders.

Raphael doesn’t know how to answer that, so he just kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Song The Anchor by Bastille


End file.
